electrificata:

electrificata:

electrificata:

electrificata:

electrificata:

Wine is exactly like omegaverse fanfiction

I was GOING to say. That when you read a wine menu and see something like “notes of leather and wet stone” you think “did an insane person write this its grapes” but after youve read about wine and growing regions and the effect of oak barrels on aging and tasted a bunch of stuff and given it some thought you find yourself taking a sip of french syrah and thinking “mmm little bit of leather on the finish there” and all of a sudden that shits not crazy anymore. Youve been cooked in the soup. Youve been living in the monkey house.

With omegaverse fanfic. You -

You get the idea. Do the work for me. Please

image

Sorry tanuki fucker 91. I will be clearer. You get coated in the slick

image

i am jiggling a credit card in the door crack. life is a rich tapestry come take my hand we will weave it together.

(via hard-in-hightown)

solitarelee:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

I have a new coworker and my boss was like “oh yeah one of the reasons I hired him was because I thought you’d get along”. Which

  1. sort of makes me feel like a cheetah in a zoo getting assigned a service dog to help tame my neuroses
  2. kind of offends me because he’s a mellow nerdy socialist flatcap pinstripe vest beardguy who I’m sure plays accordion or banjo or ukulele, which is a whole Type of Guy
  3. frustrates me because I DO genuinely like and get along with him… goddammit it’s working…

oh he’s bisexual that explains it

“don’t you love when you get to be somebody’s manic pixie dream park ranger?” yeah okay touché boss touché

your boss is deadass adding new species to your enclosure one at a time to see how you adjust to the new stimulus

(via dickwitch)

lozlemon:

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

image

(via dickwitch)

squirtle-daddy:

oated:

image
image

just found out the “I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets” guy from vine is married 6 years to a man and does research into HIV and AIDS…

omg I had such a crush on him lmao

(via dickwitch)

din-of-hyrule:

twirlfriend:

knightoflodis:

Dude

He’s just up there

Story time about something similar, actually!

I’m a pilot, and thus like 85% of my friends are ALSO pilots and one of them is just this delightful older guy that named Bruce. Bruce is a man of simple pleasures, he likes mediocre bbq and to take his vintage J3 Piper Cub out like, every other week just to have the old girl not look so sad in the hangar. We also live about 30NM south of an air base and, according to him, there was a squad of fighter planes out and they wanted some guys to go up in their planes for intercept practice (with pay, obviously) so the guys could get real time practice looking for unfamiliar aircraft.

Bruce, a man who doesn’t need it but wants to say he flew with some fighter jets, takes them up on their offer and takes the old girl up for them. Now, if you’re unfamiliar with a J3, this thing is slow as shit. Like, horrendously slow. And there was a decent headwind that day blowing in off the coast and Bruce gets the brilliant idea that he’s going to do something they can’t. So Bruce turns that old cub into the wind and just flies slow enough that he’s genuinely flying BACKWARDS and the next thing he knows are these three jets screaming past him, wings wobbling something fierce as they’re all about to stall, and the pilots yelling over the radio like “How are you DOING THAT” 

He likes to say he owned the air force something awful that day.

(via punch-fear-in-the-face)

grelliam:

evilwizard:

godstiel:

(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull

(wizard intercom) good evening passengers. this is the wizard speaking. boy do i have a treat for you

Posts that make you drop everything you’re doing and open Audacity

(via desertpacificoctopi)

saintemiliosandoz:

saintemiliosandoz:

doomed by the narrative and haunted by the narrative and a secret third thing (narrating the narrative)

image

YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I RESPECT

(via basketsofcats)

butchnoise:

butchnoise:

butchnoise:

truly possessed with envy any time i drive by someone sitting on their porch with a beverage

made this post bc I saw a fat man with a mustache zonked out in a rocking chair and it made me so jealous that I almost threw up

image

(via meddlesomepixie)

dependablecar:
“pjharvey:
“this is still the realest thing a celebrity has ever said
”
me too, nicole. me too.
”

dependablecar:

pjharvey:

this is still the realest thing a celebrity has ever said

image

me too, nicole. me too.

(via basketsofcats)